One of the most important things I learned upon becoming a mom is this: my marriage relationship takes priority over the baby. I read this in the introduction portion of the book “On Becoming Babywise," and I had to chew it over slowly. How could my husband be more important than a baby who depended on me for his every need? After all, my hubby is a grown man who can take perfectly good care of himself, why should I prioritize him over this new, cute bundle who thinks the world of me?
The book put it this way: a baby can sense any conflict in mommy and daddy, and it creates a sense of anxiety in him. In other words, when mom and dad are so in love with each other, the baby automatically rests in assurance, with no fear whatsoever that his world may fall apart any minute! This really blew my mind, but gave me the permission, sort of, to take a break from waiting for baby JD’s next cry and just relax and unwind with my hubby, refreshing and nurturing our love story. (Interestingly, and I just had to slip this in: it reminds me a lot of my own love relationship with Jesus, and how my growing intimacy with Him also results in better relationship with spiritual kids! Prioritizing Christian Marriage is explained more clearly in the website Christian-Parenting.Net.)
And we all win! Why? Because a relaxed love-filled relationship between me and my hubby spells better days for JD, as I’m less cranky, less preoccupied, and more rested, knowing somebody loves me even in my worst days, and that we’re in this together.
The book put it this way: a baby can sense any conflict in mommy and daddy, and it creates a sense of anxiety in him. In other words, when mom and dad are so in love with each other, the baby automatically rests in assurance, with no fear whatsoever that his world may fall apart any minute! This really blew my mind, but gave me the permission, sort of, to take a break from waiting for baby JD’s next cry and just relax and unwind with my hubby, refreshing and nurturing our love story. (Interestingly, and I just had to slip this in: it reminds me a lot of my own love relationship with Jesus, and how my growing intimacy with Him also results in better relationship with spiritual kids! Prioritizing Christian Marriage is explained more clearly in the website Christian-Parenting.Net.)
And we all win! Why? Because a relaxed love-filled relationship between me and my hubby spells better days for JD, as I’m less cranky, less preoccupied, and more rested, knowing somebody loves me even in my worst days, and that we’re in this together.
What’s magical about a husband-and-wife relationship is the bind manifested through love and commitment under the grace of God and not merely through blood connection.
ReplyDeleteI do believe husbands, and even wives for that matter, require more time and attention from their partners for security and support. No matter how good a mother or a father can be, everything else falters if not buoyed up by the love of their partner.
This reality is left unrealized for many couples until then.
Keep it coming! :)
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ReplyDeleteWe've also loved this section of the book! It's been one of my favorite child rearing books personally.
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